Spring has arrived! A time of new beginnings and fresh starts. The weather is getting warmer, flowers are in bloom (yes, even in Colorado), and the days are getting longer.

We’ve reached that point in our year, where New Year’s resolutions and new goals have either taken off or have dwindled disappointingly. If you’re anything like me when establishing a new goal, you tend to go all in, zero to a hundred. I’ve come to realize that strategy isn’t always the healthiest, so within the last two years, I learned the value of goal setting, and I love it! It keeps me focused on my ambitions by breaking it down into little steps. I’ve learned that if I’m not careful, I’ll let all the “should be doings” and “must be doings” associated with work, to do lists, and goals take over. I forget to stop and smell those freshly bloomed flowers.

I recently found myself lost in the “should be doing” and “must be doing” mindset, where I began experiencing severe anxiety, extreme emotional sensitivity and even started losing relationships. The constant go go go thinking had me convinced, if I wasn’t pushing towards an end goal then I would never make my dreams a reality.  I was stressing myself out. Now, I’m no teenage boy whose been bitten by a radioactive spider, but my Spidey Senses are telling me that all that stress, frustration and emotional fatigue was doing a lot more harm than good. This hyperactive mindset in turn pushed my dreams further away.  

How did I press the reset button? I took two months off and I reevaluated what was important to me. Now, I still worked. When I felt inspired, I wrote, or worked on creating my website, but I stopped stressing and forcing things to happen.

I made a list and evaluated the 10 key areas of my life. Giving each a number score from 1-10. 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest. The key areas are as follows:

  • Family (5)
  • Friends (2)
  • Significant Other (7) 
  • Emotional Health (4)
  • Spiritual Health (7)
  • Personal Development (9)
  • Finances (8)
  • Career / Passion (9)
  • Leisure / Fun (2)
  • Environment (7)

After, going though and scoring each area, noting the highest vs. the lowest categories, I realized that typically the areas I scored the highest were things that comes easily to me, things I am passionate about it. Like others, I  focus a lot of time and energy on these higher scoring areas.

The lower scoring categories I noticed were the areas in life that do not come quite as easily to me. These are areas I feel passionate about, and typically these cause me the most pain or grief.

Evaluating the 10 key areas of my life helped me become aware of the areas that I was lacking in. I kept my highest score as a key priority, and learning from my mistakes, I was determined not to let it take up all my time and energy. I made a second priority to enhance my lower scoring areas. I assure you, by focusing on the lower areas it will help enrich your life and bring balance – creating a positive change to coincide with this season of new beginnings.

Fresh April Bloom

After looking into my own key areas of life, I noticed I was strongly lacking in my relationships. Not necessarily a romantic relationship but I was craving deeper connections with my friends and family. They say you are who your 5 closest friends are, so I looked around. The amazing thing is I already had such strong independent and motivated people surrounding me. I had just been selfish with my time, not putting in an effort to grow those relationships. I also decided I would like to expand my horizons, put myself out there and meet new people. Not necessarily in the design community, but people who can push the envelope of my mental thinking and actions. Therefore, I consciously made an effort to make time each week creating new friendship and growing my current relationships. Literally, I started waking up at 5am to go to the gym in order to have a social life after work. Now that’s dedication!  The truth is, I, as well as most of us, thrive off deep, meaningful connections. I can feel a difference in my energy and stress levels. Not to mention, they inspire me and push me to be better. After all, bettering ourselves is  what dreams and goal are built off of, isn’t it?

If you’re like me, don’t let the daily “should be doing” or “must be doing” thoughts get in your head. Even if you haven’t reached the tipping point, I still encourage you, take some time and evaluate the areas in your life. Make a list. Make some new priorities that focus on what’s lacking. Perhaps having a social life and relationships come easily to you, but you have a strong desire to work on your finances. Whatever it may be, evaluating the 10 areas of your life will help you recognize it so you can start making some positive change. Spring is time for a fresh start! Stop stressing and smell those freshly bloomed flowers. Take time and enjoy life, especially this season of warm weather, patios and good friendships. 

I would love to hear what your top ten areas of priority are, so let me know by commenting. Or, comment below if this exercise was helpful! Feel free to share your experience dealing with the “should be doing” or “must be doing” mindset.  I’d love to discuss them with you.

Much Love, Becca

Photo’s via Bri Barber

RELATED POSTS

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    Will Tolvo

    May 4, 2017

    This is an exquisitely written article Becca! Over the past week or so since I sat down to read this, I’ve been doing a bit of thinking regarding what I believe to be important in my life. I have come to the conclusion, like yourself, that I get caught up in the “should be doing” mentality, yet sometimes my procrastination gets the best of me and it turns into, “What I must do tomorrow.” I know there is no time like the present, but it is perhaps the very notion that I am expected to do naught but work and keep myself afloat in only the here and now that forces these procrastination thoughts into my rebellious psyche. Or, perhaps it is that what I am working on is not as important to me as I had originally thought and my true passions lie elsewhere. Regardless of this though, after some serious consideration, using the same metrics you used for yours with the same catagories, mine I believe falls something like the following

    Family (6)
    Friends (4)
    Significant Other (8)
    Emotional Health (2)
    Spiritual Health (1)
    Personal Development (9)
    Finances (6)
    Career / Passion (9)
    Leisure / Fun (7)
    Environment (4)

    Perhaps here and there a few of these can be interchanged, but overall I see life as having no point if it is not enjoyed. Without fun (much more so than “leisure”) I see almost no point in considering myself “alive.” This does not mean that there are times where fun must be forsaken for the benifit of progression or survival, but I consider one of my biggest strengths to be the ability to find joy in even the little things. This applies as well to finding joy with my friends and significant other should I have someone of that importance in my life some day. The definition of fun to me is more about making sure life is not dull and there is never a moment where I am not learning.

    Speaking of which, learning is something I would include in this list if I had the ability to modify it. Progression of the mind is one of my most passionate persuits. This ranges from learning as much as I can about the cosmos to mastering the mechanics of a video game which has my attention and everything in between. It is an endless persuit, however I have found that the more I know, the less I have learned. By this I mean every time I learn about something spectacular, I find out there are 10 different nuances which all help to create its properties. This increases my knowledge sure, but the percentage of which I now realize I do not know grows by 10 fold. Again, an endless persuit, but every now and again I realize that there are connections and the dots thrust themselves together even before reading up on a particular topic. These moments of understanding are what I strive to feel as often as possible.

    There are so many things I have not covered. From my love of adrenaline seeking to why I’m a cyclist, however I suppose that could be for another post. In my opinion, our differences are what make the world an interesting place. It is what keeps us interested in meeting different people or maintaining those relationships we already have.

    Will

    • Reply

      Becca Wieronski

      May 22, 2017

      Hey Will!
      Thanks for message. So sorry for the late reply.
      You are absolutely correct learning (aka knowledge) should be added to the list. Without it we lose our eagerness to move forward.
      Thanks again for the feedback. Keep perusing that knowledge and those adventures.
      🙂 Becca

LEAVE A COMMENT